Humor
« Previous EntriesIn honor of the upcoming ScriptFrenzy
Tuesday, March 9th, 2010Oh, hilarity. It’s time for that screenwriting challenge of the year, ScriptFrenzy, where we write 100 pages of a new movie, TV show, graphic novel, or other script in the month of April. I’ll be serving as ML (i.e., head honcho, cheerleader, glorious leader) for the Austin area for the second year. And in honor [...]
Franken-yummy
Thursday, October 22nd, 2009It’s the time for ghouls and witches, and other traditional characters now banned from schools, but my favorite bit of the Halloween season isn’t costumes or candy or parties, it’s – FRANKENBERRY! My favorite cereal of all time began disappearing from the shelves in the 80s. But when Wal-Mart first began opening superstores with groceries, [...]
Raindrops keep falling on my bed
Sunday, September 13th, 2009You know it’s been a long drought when you forget you have a leaky roof until you are reminded two years later. It began at 3 a.m., as all annoying events should. Plop. What? Must’ve been a dream. Plop. Nope, my forehead is wet. Plop. Oh geez. I got up to turn on the light. The [...]
Trespassing, stealing, and risking life and limb
Wednesday, August 5th, 2009I first became a hardened pomegranate thief when I was ten. The superintendent lived across the street from our school. On the edge of his back yard, surrounded by a fence, was a lovely heavy-laden pomegranate tree. And, you know, it wasn’t like he was our English teacher or something. He couldn’t flunk us, right? So during [...]
Literary Lothario
Tuesday, July 14th, 2009I admit it, I’m an infidel. Earlier this year, I was passionately in love with my middle grade novel. We were together every day, often long into the night, mutually basking in the glow of each other’s fond admiration. Then, we hit a rough patch. She got some attention. Things looked promising for the long [...]
Some days a writer feels like a lamppost
Monday, June 22nd, 2009“Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost what it feels about dogs.” John Osborne That warm feeling I got when my romantic comedy Heteroflexible advanced to quarterfinals in its first screenwriting competition at Blue Cat, became a warm, wet feeling when I read the script analysis. Now, I do love my [...]
Oh my G, you’re an F!
Monday, April 13th, 2009Unlike the Facts of Life conversations, which tend to be initiated by my six-year-old, the Bad Words talk is one that I will bring up myself. Part of this comes from morbid maternal curiosity. The rest is to make sure more Newspeak isn’t occurring (the school has banned “stupid” and “freak,” and I don’t agree [...]
The Facts of Life, Part Deux: Torture the Mother
Friday, March 27th, 2009So, a month or so ago, you read my lovely initial birds and bees conversation with my six-year-old. (Yes, SIX.) Apparently Elizabeth has babies on the brain, as yesterday when we were stuck on Mopac, she suddenly asked, “How do you make a baby?” Thankfully, traffic was at a dead stop, or I might have [...]
The Facts of Life Are All About…Marriage, Apparently
Tuesday, February 24th, 2009My six-year-old flopped on the bed with no indication whatsoever she was about to drop a bombshell. “So, Mama, can I have a baby before I’m married?” I had to think for a minute. These questions are never what they seem, like the time the big horrid bad word she heard at school, that started [...]
Ding dong, the sub is dead
Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009The second grader held his picture high enough for the whole class to see. “Look, Ms. Roy, here’s your heart falling out of your body!” He seemed shocked that my response was simply, “It should be a little more red. And dripping.” The lesson the teacher had left for me involved the question, “What if dinosaurs [...]
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